


Three villains part 2

by Brokensoul



Series: Three villains [1]
Category: Eragon - Fandom, Labyrinth, Once Upon A Time - Fandom
Genre: Other, why, why have i done this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-01-31 17:06:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12686442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brokensoul/pseuds/Brokensoul
Summary: This is part two the first is a separate work





	Three villains part 2

**Author's Note:**

> This is part two the first is a separate work

Jareth entered the seedy bar first, stepping in out of the rain, followed by a swaggering Rumplelstiltkin and a scowling Durza. After each had (more or Less) reunited with his lady love, they had agreed to meet for celebratory drinks.

Jareth turned towards them and with a toothy grin, whipped off his sparkly purple coat to reveal a tight T-shirt and even tighter pants. His shirt read,”What up? I got a big cock.” Jareth proudly splayed his lovely long body carelessly over a bar stool. 

Rumplestiltskin smirked maliciously and took off his reptile hide coat to show a T-shirt that said, “My prick’s as long as my name.”

Jareth was outraged. “You ! You didn’t have that on a minute ago!”

“I can wear what I want,” Rumple cackled snidely.

“Idiots,”hissed Durza slouching to a stool on one side of Rumple, who was still giggling. Jareth sat at Rumples other side and ordered a peach daiquiri.

Durza rolled his red eyes,”Oh yes, that drink will surely impress the ladies.”

“I am fond of peaches,”Jareth answere frostily. He arranged his long legs carelessly. “ Now that I have Sarah back, I have no need of impressing anyone.” He looked smug. 

“Yes how is that going? was it cradle robbing or actual cradle robbing? Or both as usual? How old is Sarah now?” Rumple slanted a sly look at Jareth.

“You should talk,”grumbled Jareth. Pouting, he stretched out one booted foot further, tripping a passing customer, who fell to the floor. Durza immediately set the man’s hair on fire and the hapless gentleman ran screaming to the bathroom sink.

“Enough bickering! You bore me.” Durza waved to the barkeep. As he took his drink he speared the mans hand with a long black nail, leaving behind a drop of black poison. “Be quicker next time”

Durza turned to the others. “As for me, Arya is now safely in the dungeon. We shall be blissfully happy together... eventually. Women are rather difficult to please.”

“Have you tried chaining her.” Inquired Rumple, whose T-shirt now read, “I’m with impotent” and had an arrow pointing to each side.

“Of course I chained her, do I look like an amateur? It’s just, I’m not sure what she really wants. She doesn’t seem to enjoy her whippings like I thought she would” Durza looked puzzled, his flame colored hair falling in his eyes.

“Sometimes when I’m in owl form, Sarah seems happier. Perhaps you could try transforming into an animal.? “ Jareth plucked a trio of round crystals out of the air and began playing with them

“ I could turn you into a snail,” Rumple offered helpfully.

“Dont be ridiculous, “ Durza hissed, “how am I supposed to rape her if I’m an animal! And Jareth, kindly stop waving your balls at us.”

Jareth snickered but vanished the orbs. “Speaking of balls...”

“Eww,” Rumple groaned, pointedly averting his eyes away from Jareth’s crotch.

“Calm down, I’m talking about dancing. Maybe you could take her to a ball? I’ve heard women enjoy that sort of thing .”

“Oh right, because that worked so well for you. I think I can manage without resorting to your fancy ass tactics. Or your roofie approach with fruit.” Durza snarled and motioned to the bartender. The frightened man was looking quite green, and tried to bring Durza a drink but keeled over dead from shade poison.

“Well, how rude,” remarked Durza. He picked up the bottle to serve himself. “Seems you can’t get good help anywhere these days.

“I’ll drink to that ,”agreed Rumple, whose shirt now proclaimed, “Hasta la vista, baby!”


End file.
